Friday, November 22, 2013

Progress Stand-Still

 
I went to move on to Step 6, but something didn't quite feel settled yet.  I think I need to open up and read my inventory to someone in it's entirety still, for my Step 5.  That's why I haven't posted again in a while.  I guess I'm feeling sorta stuck.  Because I don't know who to read my inventory to.  It's not a decision to be made lightly.

I do want to say that I feel so much better after completing what I have completed.  I feel like I've redefined myself.  I always used to define myself by my problems or weaknesses and after taking these steps, I have to consciously let go of that definition of myself.  It is no longer my problem because I have given it to the Lord.  So am I an addict anymore?  No, I don't think I am.

Of course, it wouldn't be right to assume I can ignore the past completely.  I do need to be careful to avoid temptations and continue to do what is right when I'm faced with temptations.  Because the temptations still come!  But I no longer need to define myself as someone who struggles all the time.  I need to redefine who I am in order to get rid of it completely.

I am no longer that person.

I think that's what Step 6 is actually about, so maybe that's where I'm headed after all.  My next post should be on that step.

How are my readers doing?  Anyone working the steps?  Feel free to comment.  You can comment under a profile or just anonymously.  I'd love to hear from you.

3 comments:

  1. That's great that you are working the steps. They truly are the stepping stones to recovery, and more-so, to coming to know and love our Savior.

    I completely agree that your reluctance to move on to Step 6 is due to Step 5 being somewhat incomplete. Reading my inventory to my sponsor was quintessential to to my recovery. It was in that moment that I released the majority of my shame and gave it over to God. It was hard, don't get me wrong, but it was sooo healing!

    As for someone to read it to - do you have a recovery group? Do you attend PASG meetings? Healing Hearts Through Christ is also an option... you can learn more at www.healingheartsthroughchrist.blogspot.com. There are a number of sisters on there who have strong recovery and are available to sponsor and/or listen to your step 5. Let me know if you have more questions!

    So glad you have joined the blogging family:-)

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    1. Thanks. Yes, I attend a PASG meeting, and am now facilitating at one. I show support to lots of other women, and feel their support. But for some reason I can't figure out who to share my inventory with. I guess my biggest problem is that most of the women coming to the group I go to are supporting their addicted loved ones, and are not addicts themselves. So because my inventory is about my own addictions I feel like it's hard to share the particulars with them.

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    2. Totally makes sense. Well - you are welcome to check out the phone meeting I mentioned above. It is specifically for LDS women in sex addiction. A number of us have solid recovery and have worked step 5 and sponsored. (this may be HF answering your question for you)... love your blog!

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